"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
The above scriptures captures the mind of God concerning pre-marital sex or fornication and if you go deeper into the Bible, you get to realise that God is not against sex but rather recommends that it should be between two people who are committed to one another in marriage. The Bible asks us not to indulge in pre-marital sex but to protect our bodies as God's temple and to present our bodies to him as a living sacrifice.
Because we live in a fallen world, the intent of God for sex is usually abused and sadly sometimes by us Christians. You find two Christians who are not yet married (they may be engaged) & may not even have plans to marry engaging in pre-marital sex.
The intent of this post however is to address some of the salient issue regarding the way first, our society, and second some ministers have treated this issue in conversations, teachings, sermons, counselling and so on. I have repeatedly heard it insinuated to a large extent that the woman 'loses more' when she allows a man have pre-marital sex with her. Comments like "A man who sleeps with you outside of marriage is not likely to marry you because he won't trust you", "Why buy the cow when the milk is free", "When a man sleeps with you outside of marriage, he has seen all of you & there is nothing to look forward to." readily comes to mind. In as much as these comments are true at different levels, I'll like to add my own perspective as a woman of faith.
Personally, I do not think I will take a man who asks me for sex outside of marriage serious irrespective of his status in the church or the society at large. I will see him as weak, lacking self-control, lacking respect for God and me and ungodly like Esau who sold his birthright for food. Even if I sleep with him, this kind of man cannot command my respect and trust. I cannot trust him with my friends, sisters and even househelps. He certainly will not be a kind of man I'll like to submit to because a man who lacks respect for God who is the father of all, will certainly extend the same courtesy to my parents, pastors and others some day.
Finally, let us ask ourselves: is pre-marital sex really worth all the troubles that accompanies it? My answer is no and by His grace I am making a conscious effort (which is really hard in the world that we live in) to ensure that I am not ensnared by pre-marital sex. When next I want to have sex, I really want to enjoy it to the fullest (without guilt and I speak from experience) and that can only be in the sanctity of marriage according to the plan of God. Whatever your answer is, just know that the Grace of God is always available and if you are neck-deep into pre-marital sex, it is not too late to turn back. From my own experience, it is tough but it can be done.
The above scriptures captures the mind of God concerning pre-marital sex or fornication and if you go deeper into the Bible, you get to realise that God is not against sex but rather recommends that it should be between two people who are committed to one another in marriage. The Bible asks us not to indulge in pre-marital sex but to protect our bodies as God's temple and to present our bodies to him as a living sacrifice.
Because we live in a fallen world, the intent of God for sex is usually abused and sadly sometimes by us Christians. You find two Christians who are not yet married (they may be engaged) & may not even have plans to marry engaging in pre-marital sex.
The intent of this post however is to address some of the salient issue regarding the way first, our society, and second some ministers have treated this issue in conversations, teachings, sermons, counselling and so on. I have repeatedly heard it insinuated to a large extent that the woman 'loses more' when she allows a man have pre-marital sex with her. Comments like "A man who sleeps with you outside of marriage is not likely to marry you because he won't trust you", "Why buy the cow when the milk is free", "When a man sleeps with you outside of marriage, he has seen all of you & there is nothing to look forward to." readily comes to mind. In as much as these comments are true at different levels, I'll like to add my own perspective as a woman of faith.
Personally, I do not think I will take a man who asks me for sex outside of marriage serious irrespective of his status in the church or the society at large. I will see him as weak, lacking self-control, lacking respect for God and me and ungodly like Esau who sold his birthright for food. Even if I sleep with him, this kind of man cannot command my respect and trust. I cannot trust him with my friends, sisters and even househelps. He certainly will not be a kind of man I'll like to submit to because a man who lacks respect for God who is the father of all, will certainly extend the same courtesy to my parents, pastors and others some day.
Finally, let us ask ourselves: is pre-marital sex really worth all the troubles that accompanies it? My answer is no and by His grace I am making a conscious effort (which is really hard in the world that we live in) to ensure that I am not ensnared by pre-marital sex. When next I want to have sex, I really want to enjoy it to the fullest (without guilt and I speak from experience) and that can only be in the sanctity of marriage according to the plan of God. Whatever your answer is, just know that the Grace of God is always available and if you are neck-deep into pre-marital sex, it is not too late to turn back. From my own experience, it is tough but it can be done.
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